Wednesday, December 31, 2008

My happy thought for the day...

"DEDICATION: fresh42jazz-- damn guilt trips...... XD"

Netrixie made my day with this one. :)

Sunday, December 7, 2008

life is good.

I'm feeling optimistic. After having the best day that I've had since August on Friday, I've been in a generally good mood. Receiving random acts of kindness from strangers made my afternoon today, and I'm generally... happy. I still have a lot of work to do, and stress, but it finally feels like I can do it all, like it will all be okay. I feel optimistic. Happy. Relived. Peaceful. Life is good. :)


[Listen to "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. You can't help but smile.]

Friday, September 26, 2008

Presidential Debate -- my thoughts at the time.

I'm not an expert on any of these issues, and the following are the comments that came to me as I watched the first debate (foreign policy and national security).

9:01. They've already pointed out that Obama is black and McCain was a POW. Shocking.

9:02. Since "foreign policy and national security" apparently includes the "global economic crisis"... will they talk only about that? I want to hear from McCain regarding foreign policy.

9:03. McCain is actually here tonight, which is nice to see. I want to hear his views on the issues, rather than the typical blasting of the opponent that we've been seeing.

9:04. And the first topic is the financial crisis. Not surprising in the slightest...

9:04. "Biggest financial crisis since the Great Depression." (Obama). True, but... depressing.

9:05. Obama points out that trickle-down economics aren't working for the common people. *shocking*

9:07. "The greatest fiscal crisis... probably... certainly in our time." (McCain). Like what Obama said, but without the nice ending to it. *shrugs*

9:08. "This isn't the end or the beginning of the crisis. This is the end of the beginning." (McCain). I'm a bit confused.

9:09. "Part of it has to do with an economic policy that says that regulations are always bad." (Obama).

9:12. Awww, they're smiling and laughing together. So sweet.

9:13. So Obama has that flag pin that they always wear, but McCain doesn't. (I'm not saying it means anything at all... I just realized this is pretty much the first time I've ever seen one of them make a speech, etc. without one... I could just be blind).

9:14. "We Republicans came to power to change government and government changed us." (McCain). I like that he's recognizing that his party had at least some part of this.

9:15. "I've got a pen. This ones rather old, but I've got a pen and I'm going to veto..." He's making jokes? It wasn't funny.

9:16. First major criticism/accusation: according to McCain, Obama supports earmarked bills.

9:16. Obama brings up tax cuts to the wealthy (McCain's plan). He says that he plans to provide tax cuts to 95% of the working class.

9:17. "So they've got money... to fill up on gas." (Obama). Lol, like we have that here right now. :)

9:18. "I didn't win Miss Congeniality in the United States Senate." (McCain). That's a really weird mental picture.

9:18. "I don't know where John's getting his figures, but..." (Obama). In his head he's thinking 'um... wtf?!'

9:20. Is it just me or when McCain just said "America" he sounded oddly like Bush?

9:21. McCain clarifies his tax cuts (reducing business taxes)... briefly. Then goes back to pork barrel spendings (and continuing to say that Obama supported them). Obama motions to the moderator that he wants to respond.

9:22. McCain wants to know Obama's definition of "rich."

9:22. "If you make $250,000 or less a year, then you will not see a dime of tax increase." (Obama)

9:23. McCain is smiling as Obama criticizes the health plan ($5,000 credit to people, but increase in health care taxes). It's mildly creepy.

9:24. I want McCain to talk more about himself than he talks about Obama. Please?

9:25. "Senator Obama has voted to increase taxes for people who make under $42,000 a year." (McCain) "John, that's not true." (Obama) "It's true. It's a fact. You can look it up." (McCain) Why is McCain laughing/smirking now?

9:26. "We're not going to be able to do everything that I want to get done." (Obama). Not be able to because lack of money in budget, due to obvious reasons. According to Obama, we need to work on... energy independence, health care, competing in education (compared to other schools). [You mean No Child Left Behind isn't working?], work on infrastructure, fix energy grid. "We've got to eliminate the programs that don't work and fix what we do have so they work better and cost less." (Obama)

9:28. "No matter what, we have got to cut spending." (McCain). He tries to make a joke about "how far left" Obama is. He thinks ethanol is nonsense. (I think that's what he said... it was a bit mumbled). Defense spending is "very important and vital." McCain comments that he has been involved in budget spending... and people going to jail due to bad contracts.

9:31. "John mentioned me being wildly liberal, but mainly that's me opposing President Bush's [I didn't catch what word this was] policies."

9:32. "How about a spending freeze except for caring for our veterans, national defense, and several other vital programs." (McCain).

9:33. "We're currently spending $10 billion dollars a month in Iraq... we've got to look at bringing the war to a close." (Obama)

9:34. "We have to have offshore drilling and nuclear power." (McCain) I'm okay with nuclear power (assuming it's with newer and more efficient and safe plants), but offshore drilling? I need to learn more about it, but it doesn't seem like a good idea to me.

9:36. "I want to make sure we're not handing over health care to the government, which is basically what would eventually happen under Senator Obama's health plan." (McCain)

9:36. McCain also brings up (yet again) that he has cut spending and Obama has increased spending.

9:37. "Spending restraint has got to be a vital part..." (McCain). "I know spending can be brought under control because I have been fighting excessive spending my entire career."

9:37. Obama points out that it's been Bush who's been doing this, and McCain has supported Bush and voted in favor of his budgets.

9:38. McCain says again that he's not Miss Congeniality. But he tells us that he's a "Maverick of the Senate". (And he says that Palin is one as well).

9:39. Lessons from Iraq. "You cannot have a failed strategy and then expect to be successful in a conflict." (McCain). Really? You can't be successful if you're failing? I'm shocked.

9:40. "We will come home with victory and honor." (McCain). "We will succeed and our troops will come home, and not in defeat." "They have succeeded and we are winning in Iraq."

9:40. Obama on Iraq. He points out that he and McCain have fundamentally different ideas on this topic. (No, really?). Senator Obama points out that he's been against the war from the beginning (cites why), points out Afghanistan (you know, where Bin Laden actually was...). "Soon to be a trillion [dollars spent on the war]." "Al Qaeida is resurging now, stronger than it has been since 2001."

9:42. It's really interesting to watch the face of the other candidate as they watch the opponent talking.

9:42. "We have to use our military wisely and we did not use our military wisely in Iraq."

9:43. "I'm very proud of my vice-presidential selection." (Obama) "They have done a brilliant job [the troops at reducing violence]." "John, you like to pretend the war started in 2007 with the surge. The war started in 2003. At the start of the war, you said it would be quick and easy. You said we were going to find weapons of mass destruction. You were wrong. You said we would be greeted as liberators. You were wrong...." (Obama)

9:45. "I'm afraid Senator Obama doesn't understand the difference between a strategy and tactics." (McCain). Main point - he says that Obama doesn't understand how the military works.

9:46. "Senator Obama refuses to admit that we are winning in Iraq." (McCain) "That's not true." (Obama). Obama is now trying to interject. McCain won't let him. :)

9:47. McCain is shaking his head as Obama points out what he actually believes, as opposed to what McCain is painting it to be. "Senator McCain said, in the rush to go to Iraq, 'we've been successful in Afghanistan.'"

9:48. "We should end this war responsibly, we should do it in phases. But in 16 months, we should be able to reduce our combat troops, provide relief to our troops and they're families, and [focus on Afghanistan." (Obama)

9:49. McCain misquotes someone regarding Obama's plan.

9:49. "Those success are fragile." (McCain). I.e., if we leave now, Iraq will be screwed up again.

9:50. New troops to Afghanistan? "Yes... as quickly as possible." (Obama) "Two to three additional brigades to Afghanistan." Oh snap, Obama points out that Iraq had nothing to do with 9-11, but we have 4 times more troops there than in Afghanistan. "It's not just more troops."

9:52. Pakistan needs to get rid of the safe havens for terrorists. (Obama)

9:52. McCain admits it was a mistake to leave Afghanistan and claim a "victory."

9:53. McCain doesn't want to "threaten" Pakistan "as Senator Obama apparently wants to do."

9:54. "The same strategy that [Obama] condemned in Iraq needs to be used in Afghanistan." (McCain)

9:54. "It's not just the addition of troops that is needed, but a new strategy." (McCain)

9:55. "I never said I wanted to attack Pakistan. Here's what I said, and John can disagree with me if he'd like. (Obama)

9:56. The background of the debate has words on it. I want to know what it says...

9:57. "I don't think that Senator Obama realizes that Pakistan was a failed state... anyone who was around then understood that." (McCain)

9:58. McCain supported involvement Bosnia, Kosovo, etc. basically, he has a record of involvement in issues like this.

9:59. McCain tells a story about a woman who's son died in Iraq (gave a bracelet to him to wear). And other people who have lost children... don't want the war to be lost. My heartstrings are being tugged.

10:00. "I have a bracelet too." (Obama). Pointing out that he knows how war affects people.

10:01. "Senator McCain, no one's talking about defeat in Iraq." (Obama). I'm impressed at how calm he is, even when McCain tells something that is basically a blatant lie.

10:02. McCain comments that he has actually traveled to these places and "I know what our needs are." He says that Obama's plan (date for withdrawal) will certainly lead to failure in Iraq.

10:03. Moderator points out that although they have spoken equal amounts, they've gone over the allotted time per question. :) Now... Iran?

10:04. "We cannot allow a second Holocaust." (McCain). We need to form a "league of democracies. A group of countries [French, British, etc.] that share common values, common interests, common ideals." Sanctions on Iran. "Their government is lousy, so their economy is lousy." "We can act, and we can act with our friends and allies and reduce this threat as quickly as possible."

10:06. "Ironically, the single thing that has strengthened Iran in the past several years is the war in Iraq." (Obama) "So obviously our policy over the last 8 years has not worked." "Not only would it threaten Israel, who is our stalwart and our ally..." Okay... Israel isn't always right in everything they do. Just because we believe that they have a right to exist as a country doesn't mean that we should blinding support everything they do.

10:08. Oh snap. McCain can pronounce Ahmajinidad's name. He also says that Obama wants to meet with him and Chavez without preconditions. (Reminds me of the situation in which McCain refused to acknowledge if he would meet with the prime minister of Spain...)

10:10. Obama points out meeting without preconditions "isn't just meeting for tea."

10:12. Obama points out that McCain wouldn't meet with the prime minister of Spain... and Obama points out that they're an ally.

10:13. "I'm not going to set up a meeting schedule. I'm not president. I don't even have a presidential state." (McCain).

10:13. Meeting with someone who makes comments about Israel (wants to wipe them off the map) legitimizes those comments and is "dangerous."

10:14. Obama is smiling as he tries to stay calm as to not yell at McCain for making more stuff up about him. Obama then tries again to inform McCain of what "preconditions" mean. More about Israel. GAH! Can I slap someone?

10:15. Moderator tries to cut off McCain. (Only partially successful).

10:16. Moderator -- Russia. Competitor? Enemy? Potential partner?

10:16. "Our entire Russian approach has to be reconsidered." (Obama) "Their actions in Georgia were unacceptable... unwarranted." "We have to explain to the Russians that 'you can't be a 21st century power and rule like a 20th century power.'" "We also can't return to a cold war policy with Russia." Nuclear proliferation -- we have to work with Russia on that.

10:18. McCain's turn. "[Obama] doesn't understand that Russia committed serious violence against Georgia." "It's not acceptable behavior." Putin = KGB? He once again mentions his international travel. "We have to watch Ukraine."

10:22. Two important things to keep in mind when dealing with Russia. (Obama) "Foresight and anticipate some of these problems." "The second point I want to make is the issue of energy." (They gots the oil... we needs the oil.) We use 25% of the world's oil, but have only 3% of the world's supply. We need alternatives - wind, solar, diesel, "and yes, nuclear."

10:24. McCain thinks Obama doesn't really support nuclear. Offshore drilling will help to "at least temporarily."

10:25. "I have to correct the record here. I've never said that I object to nuclear waste, I've just said that we need to store it safely." (Obama)

10:26. "What do you think is the likelihood that there will be another 9-11 type attack on the continental United States?" - Moderator.

10:26. (McCain). "Much less than the day after 9-11." Main points of his response - We're still not safe. He and Lieberman set up commission to look into what really happened. We need people who are trained interrogators so we "don't ever torture a prisoner ever again." "I think America is safer today than it was on 9-11, but that doesn't mean that I think that we don't have a long way to go before we can make America safe." "That means doing a better job along our borders."

10:28. (Obama). Main points. Not enough -- transit, ports. "The biggest threat to this country is a terrorist getting his hands on a nuclear weapon." Focus on Al Qaeda. "The way we are perceived in the world..." "We are less respected than we were 8 years ago or even 4 years ago." We need to restore the sense that "America is that shining beacon on the hill."

10:30. "Senator Obama still doesn't get it. If we fail in Iraq, it encourages Al Qaeda. They will set up a base in Iraq." I thought we already beat that to death?

10:33. "There has never been a country on earth that has seen its economy decline yet maintains it's military superiority." (Obama) "The next president has to have a broader vision over all strategic challenges that our country faces. That has been missing over the past 8 years."

10:34. "I honestly don't believe that Obama has enough experience..." More comments about how Obama sucks, basically.

10:35. "I have the ability, knowledge, and backgrounds to protect this country and keep it secure." (McCain) "I don't need any on-the-job training. I'm ready now."

10:35. Obama's a lot calmer than I would be after those accusations. "I don't think the way children around the world look at America is the same [as when his father was younger and first came here]."

10:36. McCain reminds us that he was a POW. And he likes the veterans.

10:37. "And that ends our debate tonight."

10:37. They all shake hands. The candidates greet their spouses, and then all 4 shake hands.

That was an... enlightening debate.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

you know who you are. <3

Originally, it was just a comment... but I found so much more to say and I just realized that I needed to reflect too. So it works out well. The person to whom this is directed will understand, and that's what's important.

Sweetheart, you'll be fine. I know I say that a lot, and it doesn't change much, but I believe in you. I really do.

Lists are magnificent, and goals doubly so. I started to think about that one time in English this past year... when we were doing Emerson and Thoreau. Our teacher taught us many things, giving us a glimpse of one perspective on life. I realized then that having goals -- broad and vast or narrow and specific -- really lets you see what you want from life. So kudos to you for even making one. I think that regardless of what paths you take in the future, you will find success. Even when life seems to be treating you wrongly, not allowing you to be whom you want, there is always something better... just waiting to be found.

So, I continue. And my thoughts are not criticisms, and they are hardly even opinions. Just reactions (though that seems an incorrect word), and you shouldn't take them to mean to much. I miss our car conversations, where this would be able to spill out in a jumbled mess of words, waiting for me to catch up to them and decode their meaning. And if we can't have a conversation there, we can have one here. Rather, I can ask questions and display statements and you can choose to continue if you would so wish.

What kind of doctor? I can see you saving lives and making a difference... helping children or those less fortunate... or anything, really. You just need to find that confidence in yourself and your abilities. :)

I'll not tell of my secret stories in much detail, but... when I'm bored, or just trying to fall asleep, or... anytime, really, I make up stories. Some are fantastical, some are tragic... they are stories that I would long to bring to life on paper or here or someplace else, but the images are not concrete -- they are feelings... of love, of happiness, of sadness, of joy... of life. And there I go on another tangent. The connection made sense in my head. And, despite how ridiculous it sounds even to myself, I can't even describe it... it's too embarrassing (for lack of better word), even in the relative anonymity I find here.

And I won't comment on the boyfriend thing. Well, that's a lie, as I am clearly commenting here. Rather, I won't offer criticism either way. I understand what you're saying, and there are times when I can almost empathize, albeit to a lesser degree.

it's like the email you don't open because you want to save it for the last because you know you're best friend or a good friend has written it and you know it will be long and with a lot of crazy stories, so you save it for last
I hate that sometimes, you wait and wait and wait and wait, and finally, when the moment comes, you realize it's much less than you had expected, and you just feel... empty. Then you feel so guilty because it's still something, and... yet, it's barely anything. Life can just pass you by in an instant, so quickly that you barely even notice it going, but you feel it when it's gone. But sometimes, you realize that by waiting, you gave yourself hope. And even if that hope was misplaced in that one situation, our ability to hope and dream and wish is what sets us apart, what gives us the opportunity to find deep and true love. Then again, perhaps I am merely a hopeless romantic. Well, I am a romantic. Maybe one day, my hopes will come true.

someone to hold me in his arms and whisper quiet nothings and look at me and smile.
Just like the fairy tales. I hope to find this one day. I hope you can find this one day. I just have... hope. And despair, but the hope overwhelms the despair, and that's why the world can be such a great place.

but I'm pretty sure it'll happen for me some day.
It will.

a dream came true
I am curious. Perhaps I will remain curious forever?

Until we speak again.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Baby Names

Also popular in 2007 were names for girls that were based on spiritual and philosophical concepts. Rising to No. 31 was Nevaeh, or "heaven" spelled backward; it previously ranked 43rd. Also represented in 2007 were Destiny (No. 41); Trinity (No. 72); Serenity (No. 126); Harmony (No. 315) and Miracle (No. 461). Cutting against the trend was Armani (No. 971).

Parents were less likely to name their sons based on spiritual concepts, although the 2007 list includes Sincere (No. 622) and Messiah (No. 723).

[CNN]



I'm sorry. Who names a baby girl Armani? Or Miracle? Or a little boy named Messiah? Sincere? Some poor child is going to get beaten up on the playground because, honestly, what type of name is "Sincere" for a boy?

(I generally try to be non-judgmental and accepting of all people (to a degree), but I just don't understand this...).

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Explanation of Choreography, Part Infinity (Of One)

I figure that I'm on a posting frenzy, apparently, so what's one more? Also: This is subject to change... so far, this is my second edit. There will be more. I'll let you know if anything really important changes.

This is mainly for my wonderful dancer's benefit, as it's generally helpful to know what the hell you're supposed to be doing, but it's here instead of on e-mail so that it's easier for me to find and, in the off chance that anyone wants a look into my disturbed mind, they can have this as a good reason to run away screaming. (Plus it's easier to share if trying to explain this dance to other people). Besides, it's easy for me to refer to this when I keep trying to remember what the hell I decided last week.

First off, this is a dance that I'm choreographing. I'm inflexible and not an extremely talented dancer in any way, shape, or form, but I supposedly have an excellent sense of timing and I love to choreograph. Personally, I like to have a story when I dance... it gives me a sense of dancing, as opposed to just doing steps while music is playing. To me, dance without feeling and emotion is rather pointless. (Not to say that there aren't times when I do like pointless dancing).

Why am I choreographing this dance? Because. (Saying that inevitably reminds me of a parent scolding a child... "Because I said so! Now go to your room!" And, with this comment, my hopes that the explanation would be less rambling if via a blog... went out the window and are halfway to the moon... with Steve). No real reason, honestly. After the...disastrous Reflections contest (Don't ask. I'm not in the mood to get angry about that at the moment), I realized that I love choreography, and I don't need some self-righteous PTA mom to tell me whether or not my dance was "good" or "bad". I honestly understand that it's not the next work by Twyla Tharp or anything, but it makes me happy, so there you go.

I choreographed a dance to the song Drops of Jupiter, which I promptly forgot. Considering the dance was about four minutes long and I really liked it, that was really upsetting. But the dance to Thank You by Dido (the Reflections dance) is on tape, so I at least have it there if I ever want to go back to watch it. Plus it's on YouTube. (The rough version is at least. It remains to be seen if I'll ever post the finished version). So... just for fun. And in case I ever want to look back and remember how much fun this used to be.

Now that I've gone completely off topic... the dance is weird, even for me... which is saying something. As a hint, let's talk quickly about the song. It's by Spoonphase and it's called "Youtensel Drawr." The name in itself should tell you something. It's funky, and it really is something you could do given a utensil drawer. (And some mad skillz). I can't find a clean copy anywhere online, and the copy I have found, aside from having a minute and a half of words, isn't just on a website... so I'd have long and complex instructions on how to find it, which is energy and I'm lazy. (So I'll write six pages of rambling about a dance instead). If anyone wants it though, I have an mp3 (or, thanks to Zamzar, any type of file you want) with an edit (thanks to Audacity) of just the song. It's no problem to e-mail it to you. I honestly like the song, and if anyone has heard of it before, you're my new favorite person. Seriously.

The dance. (I'm getting so off track here). Basically, it's about living life and breaking the standard conventions of normal. A really long ramble about the dance will likely follow, but that's basically it. And before I forget -- I'm not seeing this as a duet. I didn't really like the duet to Thank You if only because interaction was only physical for 0.42 seconds at the very, very end (and some angry looks throughout). I'm seeing this as a solo, but with different dancers. Okay, that wasn't explained well. I see us each doing the solo separately. I've seen people do it before, and it's really neat to see different dancers' different takes on the same dance. It's a good way to see how a dancer dances with their own emotions and feelings. There is also an added benefit in that I didn't worry about counts or anything, and my timing consistently changes, so it'll be less stressful as a solo. There is space to add yourself, to add your own uniqueness to the dance, and that's what makes it a dance. It's not supposed to be a cookie-cutter "step-step-leap-turn-step-jump" form dance without emotion. It's supposed to be YOU and a SONG and EMOTION. (And lots of other capitalized words as well).

Back to explaining the story. I originally planned to use a different song (Sing Along by Blue Man Group feat. Dave Matthews), and, taking that into account, the rest of this explanation seems like bullshit. Which, it may be. But it still works. Sing Along worked, but I'd have to cut to about 45 seconds into it, which irritated me because I love this song, especially the beginning. Besides, Youtensel Drawr started playing on my iPod, and it seemed to fit scarily well.

I'm going to stop using transitions because they (clearly) are proving to be useless, as I have yet to actually begin explaining what the hell I was talking about earlier ("Basically, it's about living life and breaking the standard conventions of normal.").

Hypothetically (or so I hope, otherwise my views of the world will be drastically altered)... You're a fork. (Or a spoon, if you'd really prefer). (FINE! Be a knife if it really means that much to you!). You sit in the drawer forever until someone finally decides to choose you, to pick you. But then, as quickly as your usefulness began, it's over. Back to the drawer. You really only have one purpose, and you don't do much aside from that. But... what if, once the people are gone, the drawer comes to life? (Think Toy Story, but a bit more disturbing because instead of cute cowboy dolls, you're a huge fucking knife). You can finally break away from society's expectations and set standards of functionality and live. You're vibrant and just... alive.

Granted, unless you're combined drunk/high/mentally insane, this isn't literally true, and you might have to be at least one of the three to see this is a metaphor. But it's a literal interpretation from the song. In practical life... it's about living. It's about understanding that you're supposed to behave in a certain way, but you need an outlet for your creativity, your energy. It's about taking what's expected, and being different. Going against society's norms.

Then again, it's not simply about rebelling. (This is when you start throwing things at me). It's not just about saying "Hey! Let's stick it to the Man!" It's about more than that. (Or at least the bullshit surrounding it encompasses more than that). It's about being free. It's about being creative. It's about being who you are. You're that knife who can finally stop cutting up the apples for the kids' lunches and do a little jig. It's about showing that there is more to life than what is at the surface.

Or maybe it's just a bunch of steps being danced while music is playing. It's up to you. :)

Linkage... Without Shrinkage (Give Me A Break -- Nothing Else Rhymes!!)

I do this constantly... I write a post that I'm particularly proud of (even if it's really not that great), then think of something else... so in the rare chance that someone will encounter this solitary blog, they are less likely to see it. Alas, my far-off dreams of... a reader... will be put aside for more helpful posts. (Helpful to me at least).

So, I realized that since I'm not always on the same computer, it'd be helpful to have some links somewhere that I can generally access.

PostSecret - Everyone should know about this project. I realized that after sending mine in, I always look a bit more closely at the rest, or I'll skim down the page to see if it's there, and still get this vague sense of disappointment and relief when it's not.

revision - I honestly keep meaning to go back and read her earlier posts, but I always get sidetracked. (Likewise with her vlogs).

Chez Kiwi - Kiwi's generally awesome. 'nuff said.

Verbatim Musings of Shower Monologues - I <3 this chica. :)

Zamzar - Zamzar has saved my life. Multiple times. The best conversion site EVER. No lie.

Questionable Content - QC is a comic. It's amazing. Marten is adorable and I just want to hug him sometimes.

Least I Could Do - LICD is another comic that can have rough humor at times, but still hilarious.

Johari - It makes me feel happier when I'm upset. (Same with old reviews for stories).

Dressed to Kill - Who doesn't need a transcript of this show? Eddie Izzard is amazing.

The Almost Totally Random Writing Exercise Generator - I always get inspired with a great story line then something happens and my inspiration flies out the window. But I still have this generator.

General Annoyances with Humanity, Part I

So... I could rant for pages and pages, but instead I'll only say a few things that I got angry about on the drive home tonight.





Complaint Number One... I think we need to do a quick refresher course on traffic signs. "U-Turn Must Yield" is, as far as I'm aware, not a code for "U-Turns Must Yield... Unless They Really Would Prefer To Talk On Their Cell Phone And Turn Whenever They Want. It's Up To Them." Maybe I missed the memo. Personally, I can't think of a time when I'll see a sign like that and think to myself "okay... a car is about halfway in the middle of a right turn from a side road into the right lane of the side of the road that I'm about to make my U-turn onto... great plan! I'm going to do my turn -- into the far lane -- even though that car's there. Hell, they're a small 1997 Honda Civic and I'm in my Hummer... even if I do hit the car, it probably won't even dent my bumper." (Background knowledge -- it was two in the afternoon and my blinker was on... it wasn't easy to just "not see me." Though, thankfully, my dear Marvin -- my car got it's name from the robot from the awesome book of Awesomeness (a.k.a. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) -- has new brakes that work very well... not that the other car attempted to stop, though the driver did slow down and get off his cell phone long enough to flip me off).





Complaint Number Two... smoking is nasty. It really is. I'm not going to go into a whole spiel about why it's disgusting and gross, but, for the sake of this complaint, even if you think it's cool and sexy (insert other words here), pretend that you agree that it's vile. Anyway... if you want to smoke, that's your business. But if you're driving and I'm behind you, don't just throw your cigarette butt out the window. Not only is that littering and it's disgusting (plus Mother Nature will hate you and she will make it rain at the most inconvenient times, like when your car is really, really, really far away from the store), but I don't want that on my windshield. It's not even like I was that close to you (at least four seconds behind or whatever it is they teach you in Driver's Ed), but still. Eew.





Complaint Number Three... is more of an acknowledgment of a lot of stuff that bothers me, without the actually complaining part. For the most part, these are topics I could rant on for pages and pages (entire blogs each, really), but that will only serve to get me really angry, and won't change any opinions. I could also provide a few succinct, logical arguments against why I think your viewpoint is ridiculous, ignorant, and just-plain-dumb, but I won't bother. I won't. But I will acknowledge that there are a multitude of subjects that I may not ever rant about (but I could if I ever decide that I have enough self-control to not injure my computer in the process), but I still have very strong opinions about. (And I am using sarcasm for some of the below reasons... because if I honestly sat and wrote all my opinions... you'd get one very angry book to read). For example...

"Homosexuality is an unnatural sin! We must urge these people to change their lifestyles!" Since when do we actually care if someone else is sinning? Aside from taking a perverse joy in spreading the gossip about which celebrity is 16 and pregnant out of wedlock (the scandal!), people ignore (or condone) lots of behaviors that are "abominations" according to the Bible. (Don't get me ranting about how people pick-and-choose what they want to believe... I could yell for hours).

"Same-sex marriage will ruin the institution of marriage!" To that, I could always respond with the 12 Reasons Same Sex Marriage Will Ruin Society. Then again, most people who I've shown that to just don't get the sarcasm, which really makes me sad. Simple solution to this whole issue? If you don't agree with same-sex marriages... don't get one! (Problem solved!) Honestly... we have a 52% divorce rate. How can letting two gay men in a committed relationship to get married going to ruin that?

"Global Warming is not real!" A multitude of responses to this... but I won't get into that. Just one question for you. If it's not real... can we build a habitat for the polar bears in your backyard?

"The Holocaust never happened!" No response aside from a slap and a trip to the Holocaust museum. (Which, incidentally, I haven't actually been to, but I've heard a lot about it and I've read a lot about it.)

"You-Know-Who has not returned!" So Cedric just dropped dead of his own accord?

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Indexed



Yeah... she's awesome.

Lost?

I plan to become creative about it... eventually.

www.lost.eu/730be

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Homophobia Hurts

I didn't come up with this list, but it really is powerful.



I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Ramblings: Choreography (Paralyzer), ADD Song Choosing, Languages (too much on this topic), Free Cookies, and an excessively long title... :)

Don't read this. It's boring and rambling and off-topic and rambling and random and rambling... oh look, a butterfly!

So, anyway... I just kind of -- well, I just feel like ranting. (It's hard to make myself say "kind of" after CTY. *grins*). So... I'm listening to "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven. Oh my Stress Cow -- the music video. *dies* The dancing is... it's not technically brilliant or anything, but it's weird and unique and flows and gah. If I could choreograph like that... *swoons*. I wish I could make something that just fits the music like that. (Or dance that well... I apparently have really good musicality, but I know that my body remains stubborn and refuses to do the steps quick enough). Regardless...

I have no idea where this is going. I don't honestly know *why* I'm writing it or posting it here... I just want to. And really... who's actually going to read this? It's like a diary but actually open to whomever wants to read it and I don't have to deal with actually writing it, which is good since my hand likes a break after the week and my handwriting gets to be *atrocious* if I don't have time/effort/caring to make it look nice.

This song irritates me right now (meh, I don't feel beautiful right now, lol)... this one too (I'm too tired to listen to reggaeton)... there we go. Lion King's Lioness Hunt. :)

I want to learn Zulu. Then I'd understand Ladysmith Black Mambazo's song lyrics (*goes to change song on iTunes). Well, I think it's in Zulu... but I don't know. I want to learn that language.

I did my typical fantasizing of the future recently. We were talking about language development in Psychology. It's interesting how kids can pick up incredibly complex languages up until the age of 6 then are forced to learn it in high school, ten years after their capability has peaked and long since drastically declined. *shrugs* So I'm going to marry someone who knows a lot of languages. That, and an orphan. *nods* We can speak multiple languages and our kids will be super languagy (the program is adamantly trying to tell me that "languagy" isn't a word...) and everything. (Random side note: she complains about being not as smart, and everything... but honestly? She is. And she grew up with other languages and knows five of them. Only four fluently, but still. She's *supposed* to be fluent in the fifth (so am I, but that's not the point), so five. I would *kill* for that and she has no idea. Anyone... my fantasy. (Completely likely... *nods* *winks*) (side note to my side note: I'm using a ridiculous number of actions in asterisks (I can't think of a word like "emoticon" or anything for them), but there you go, imaginary self. Have fun!) I have english, and, for argument's sake, spanish and (for the hell of it), German. (Why I only capitalized one, I have no idea). Three. Add Zulu (or whatever that African language is) and you have four. Throw in french because pronunciation is a bitch, but it's beautiful. Five. God... I had seven in class, and I don't think French was added. Oh... Italian, because she (other unnamed female, not the one previously mentioned) said I should and she's generally amazing (<3), so... yeah. Italian. Six. (I'll say French, even though I tend to destroy it with my pronunciation... though sometimes I'll speak Spanish with such a horrifically gringo accent that it might as well be spanglish). Um... I'd say Japanese or Chinese but I thought I'd die in sixth grade. Ditto for Russian or Japanese. No offense, but I think Latin's essentially useless (sorry). ARGH. This is annoying me more than it should.

*shakes head* Okay... that mini-rant's over. I'm tired, but I should... well... okay. I have stuff to do, and I need to sleep. I know that whenever I do go to sleep, it'll be afternoon when I get up so then I'll be stressed and worried about having no time and everything. But I'm not doing anything productive anyway.

*shrugs* So... to end this pointless rant... if anyone read this, you have my eternal love and gratitude. That's not such a great reward though. If you make it to the end and didn't fall asleep or die along the way, let me know. I'll make you (real-life) cookies. I promise. (And I know that I promised that to someone along the way for something else and it never *really* happened, but I swear this time.) Not that it really matters because I think only a few people have ever read this and only because they first stumbled on it while looking at my notes, but... eh. I can't bring myself to care. ;)

Edit: I wanted to add this, but then it was posted and I don't want to add the lyrics on a new post because then there would be no chance of anyone ever reading this. Ich liebe "Denglish". (by the Wise Guys). So... lyrics. Because I can and because... I can. :) (Why did my fingers keep trying to type "can't"? *scratches head*). Not from me, because I'm not nearly that good (yet) in German.

Oh Herr, bitte gib mir meine Sprache zurück,
ich sehne mich nach Frieden und nem kleinen Stückchen Glück.
Lass uns noch ein Wort verstehn in dieser schweren Zeit,
öffne unsre Herzen mach die Hirne weit.

Ich bin zum Bahnhof gerannt und war a little bit too late:
Auf meiner neuen Swatch wars schon kurz vor after eight.
Ich suchte die Toilette, doch ich fand nun ein „McClean“,
ich brauchte noch Connection und ein Ticket nach Berlin.

Draußen saßen Kids und hatten Fun mit einem Joint.
Ich suchte eien Auskunft, doch es gab nur’n Service Point.
Mein Zug war leider abgefahr’n – das Traveln konnt ich knicken.
Da wollt ich Hähnchen essen, doch man gab mir nur McChicken.

Oh Herr, bitte gib mir meine Sprache zurück,
ich sehne mich nach Frieden und nem kleinen Stückchen Glück.
Lass uns noch ein Wort verstehn in dieser schweren Zeit,
öffne unsre Herzen mach die Hirne weit.

Du versuchst, mich upzudaten, doch mein Feedback turnt dich ab.
Du sagst, dass ich ein Wellness-Weekend dringend nötig hab.
Du sagst, ich käm mit Good Vibrations wieder in den Flow.
Du sagst, ich brauche Energy. Und ich denk: „Das sagst du so.“

Statt Nachrichten bekomme ich den Infotainment-Flash.
Ich sehne mich nach Bargeld, doch man gibt mir nicht mal Cash
Ich fühl mich beim Communicating unsicher wie nie –
da nützt mir auch kein Bodyguard. Ich brauch Security!

Oh Lord, bitte gib mir meine Language zurück,
ich sehne mich nach Peace und nem kleinen Stückchen Glück.
Lass uns noch ein Wort verstehn in dieser schweren Zeit,
öffne unsre Herzen, mach die Hirne weit.

Ich will, dass beim Coffee.Shop „Kaffeehaus“ oben draufsteht,
oder dass beim Auto-Crash die „Lufttasche“ aufgeht,
und schön wär’s, wenn wir Bodybuilder „Muskel-Mäster“ nennen
und wenn nur noch „Nordisch Geher“ durch die Landschaft rennen.

Oh Lord, please help, denn meine Language macht mir Stress,
ich sehne mich nach Peace und a bit of Happiness.
Hilf uns, dass wir understand in dieser schweren Zeit,
open unsre Hearts und make die Hirne weit.

Oh Lord, please gib mir meine Language back,
ich krieg hier bald die crisis, man, it has doch keinen Zweck.
Let us noch a word verstehn, it goes me on the Geist,
und gib, dass „Microsoft“ bald wieder „Kleinweich“ heißt.

Ja, dass es „Kleinweich“ heißt…


Last edit: I call you a jerk, but I still love you (even though you can be a jerk). <3

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Yes, We Can

I can't vote in this election, unfortunately. I will say that if I could, I wouldn't vote for any of the republicans. Not because I am a "Democrat", but because I don't agree with the views of any of them. (They, quite frankly, scare me a bit). I'm not necessarily in support of Barack Obama. I'm not necessarily against him.



Regardless of whom I support or whom you support, it can't be denied that this is a powerful video created by will.i.am:




It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.

Yes we can.

It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom.

Yes we can.

It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.

Yes we can.

It was the call of workers who organized; women who reached for the ballots; a President who chose the moon as our new frontier; and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.

Yes we can to justice and equality.

Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity.

Yes we can heal this nation.

Yes we can repair this world.

Yes we can.

We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change.

We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics...they will only grow louder and more dissonant ........... We've been asked to pause for a reality check. We've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope.

But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.

Now the hopes of the little girl who goes to a crumbling school in Dillon are the same as the dreams of the boy who learns on the streets of LA; we will remember that there is something happening in America; that we are not as divided as our politics suggests; that we are one people; we are one nation; and together, we will begin the next great chapter in the American story with three words that will ring from coast to coast; from sea to shining sea --

Yes. We. Can.



Obama's Website

Monday, January 7, 2008

One Click, Big Difference

All you have to do is click. You can help change the world. There are lots of sites listed below. Click them all, click one. No matter what you do, you are making a difference.



http://www.hungrychildren.com/index.html


http://www2.povertyfighters.com/banners/


http://www.hungerfighters.com/


http://www.ecologyfund.com/ecology/_ecology.html


http://www.porloschicos.com/PorLosChicos.NET/


http://www.craigresearchlabs.com/cancer.html


http://www.clickforgreenland.com/_us/_en/home.aspx


http://www.theenvironmentsite.org/donate.php


http://www.landcareniagara.com/


http://cannecy.free.fr/iforest/en/


http://www.tree4life.com/ingles/ingles.htm


http://www.diewaldseite.de/


http://www.redjellyfish.com/wildlifeconservation.html


http://www.thestophivsite.com/


http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=2


http://www.thehungersite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=1


http://www.theliteracysite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=6


http://www.therainforestsite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=4


http://www.thechildhealthsite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=5


http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=3


http://stopglobalwarming.care2.com/

http://rainforest.care2.com/


http://babyseals.care2.com/


http://oceans.care2.com/


http://pets.care2.com/


http://bigcats.care2.com/


http://primates.care2.com/


http://children.care2.com/


http://stopviolence.care2.com/


http://breastcancer.care2.com


http://www.bhookh.com/


http://www.clickbokin.ekokoro.jp/50.html


http://www.oneclickonemeal.com/


http://www.youthnoise.com/page.php?page_id=2335


http://www.pajacyk.pl/


http://www.okruszek.org.pl/


http://www.chintai.net/contribution/index.html


http://www.ettklickforskogen.se/engelska/ettKlickeng.asp

http://www.feedsa.co.za/

http://www.buildaschool.org/index.cfm

http://cannecy.free.fr/solar/index.php

http://www.accse.net/rasa/donacion-rasa.html


And, of course, FreeRice. (See previous post).

Another trivia game (same concept as Free Rice): http://www.freeflour.com/

Same concept as Free Rice and Free Flour: http://www.freepoverty.com/

Music trivia for charity: http://www.savetheworldwithmusic.com/

German trivia: http://www.spendu.org/beta/index.php


Web search (powered by google) - world hunger:
http://www.helpuu.com/




This is edited whenever I find a new site, so please let me know if you know of any sites, for any cause, that have a free-click program.

FreeRice




FreeRice